New Words for 2010

* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.

* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING..
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* SWAMP DONKEY.
A deeply unattractive person..

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

* OH-NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (e.g. You've hit 'reply all').

* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.


* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.

* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* TRAMP STAMP.
Tattoo on a female.

* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

Die Hard??? Not even close

I laughed so hard when I read this (Rudy, this one is for you :D )

Japan vs RSA Speed Tests, and my PC can go back in time

Someone was kind and cruel enough to inform me of the kind of speeds you can get when living in Japan..
(For n00bies out there: This indicates how quickly you can watch a vid on youtube or the delay you will experience while playing games online etc)

First the South African test :

This might seem fast, but in comparison to the rest of the world it is as fast as taking a Volkswagen Beetle through the Jungles of the amazon, while towing a Boeing 747!

The Japan Test

Depressing I know... 90Mb/s, 6ms >< This, compared to our VW Beetle (who is probably still struggling to start up)  is like a Fighter Jet with infinite amount of rocket-thrust available!

An in other news : My Computer can go back in time..
After getting the Tokyo results, I decided to test our local work network.
It seems my computer can go back in time, as I received a ping of -30ms..

Yip.. You heard me.. -30ms!! I'm a time traveler! Watch you bookies! 

All your cash are belong to me!

Microsoft Rick Rolled WiFi abusers

Last year during Microsoft's TechEd conference microsoft's tech guys picked up that a couple of users were killing their WiFi network by using it to download massive torrents.

This of course is just not on, and so Microsoft decided to do something which is only worthy of being called "brilliant"..

The network administrators at the event quickly built a list of all of the top torrent trackers around and got the nod to add them all to the local DNS resolver and point them at a local web server containing some RickRoll scripts.

According to the admin:

It killed me that I didn't see anyone getting done by this first hand, but there were hundreds of impressions in the server logs containing the the Rick Roll scripts so I did get a fair amount of satisfaction at least. It was the most evil of evil Rick Roll scripts too — worse than any that anyone has used to get me in the past. 

Fun and games aside, it looks like the leechers will force quotas and traffic shaping for the first time in the event's history.

For those of you who don't know what Rick Rolling is, check out the following links :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickrolling
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rickroll

Goal from a 100 yards!

What does Beckham, Alonso and that cheeky defender from some bottom-of-the-table-club all have in common?

Well for you non-soccer fundi's, it is that they have all scored goals from their own halves (which is an amazing feat mind you).

Well Mohammed Mosad from Al-Ahli Jeddah decided to take the crown from Alonso's head when decided to  score a goal from about 100yards out against Hajer.

Check out this crazy bit of skill :

Don't queue for your car registration

Sick and tired of the crazy lines when you need to re-register your car?

Do the following :

Phone 0214004900.

Press 1 for English
Press 2 for car registration

Tell the friendly lady you want to pay your car registration and she will give you a 9 digit reference

Pay via EFT

and they post it to you!

Brain Teaser for a Monday morning

Here is a little brain teaser/
Nothing to serious today..
Don't want you to over stress those relaxed brain cells

2 + 3 = 10

7 + 2 = 63

6 + 5 = 66

8 + 4 = 96

Then …

9 + 7 = ?

Enjoy