What would UltraL0rd do?

New Words for 2010

2010-03-10T11:55:00.001+02:00

* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.

* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING..
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* SWAMP DONKEY.
A deeply unattractive person..

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

* OH-NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (e.g. You've hit 'reply all').

* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.

* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* TRAMP STAMP.
Tattoo on a female.

* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

Die Hard??? Not even close

2010-03-04T15:22:00.003+02:00

I laughed so hard when I read this (Rudy, this one is for you :D )

Japan vs RSA Speed Tests, and my PC can go back in time

2010-02-23T11:25:00.002+02:00

Someone was kind and cruel enough to inform me of the kind of speeds you can get when living in Japan..
(For n00bies out there: This indicates how quickly you can watch a vid on youtube or the delay you will experience while playing games online etc)

First the South African test :

This might seem fast, but in comparison to the rest of the world it is as fast as taking a Volkswagen Beetle through the Jungles of the amazon, while towing a Boeing 747!

The Japan Test

Depressing I know... 90Mb/s, 6ms >< This, compared to our VW Beetle (who is probably still struggling to start up) is like a Fighter Jet with infinite amount of rocket-thrust available!

An in other news : My Computer can go back in time..
After getting the Tokyo results, I decided to test our local work network.
It seems my computer can go back in time, as I received a ping of -30ms..

Yip.. You heard me.. -30ms!! I'm a time traveler! Watch you bookies!
All your cash are belong to me!

Microsoft Rick Rolled WiFi abusers

2010-02-18T12:29:00.001+02:00

Last year during Microsoft's TechEd conference microsoft's tech guys picked up that a couple of users were killing their WiFi network by using it to download massive torrents.

This of course is just not on, and so Microsoft decided to do something which is only worthy of being called "brilliant"..

The network administrators at the event quickly built a list of all of the top torrent trackers around and got the nod to add them all to the local DNS resolver and point them at a local web server containing some RickRoll scripts.

According to the admin:

It killed me that I didn't see anyone getting done by this first hand, but there were hundreds of impressions in the server logs containing the the Rick Roll scripts so I did get a fair amount of satisfaction at least. It was the most evil of evil Rick Roll scripts too — worse than any that anyone has used to get me in the past.

Fun and games aside, it looks like the leechers will force quotas and traffic shaping for the first time in the event's history.

For those of you who don't know what Rick Rolling is, check out the following links :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickrolling
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rickroll

Goal from a 100 yards!

2010-02-12T20:01:00.000+02:00

What does Beckham, Alonso and that cheeky defender from some bottom-of-the-table-club all have in common?

Well for you non-soccer fundi's, it is that they have all scored goals from their own halves (which is an amazing feat mind you).

Well Mohammed Mosad from Al-Ahli Jeddah decided to take the crown from Alonso's head when decided to score a goal from about 100yards out against Hajer.

Check out this crazy bit of skill :

Don't queue for your car registration

2010-02-10T15:07:00.000+02:00

Sick and tired of the crazy lines when you need to re-register your car?

Do the following :

Phone 0214004900.

Press 1 for English
Press 2 for car registration

Tell the friendly lady you want to pay your car registration and she will give you a 9 digit reference

Pay via EFT

and they post it to you!

Brain Teaser for a Monday morning

2010-02-08T11:13:00.001+02:00

Here is a little brain teaser/
Nothing to serious today..
Don't want you to over stress those relaxed brain cells

2 + 3 = 10

7 + 2 = 63

6 + 5 = 66

8 + 4 = 96

Then …

9 + 7 = ?

Enjoy

A letter to President Zuma

2010-02-03T14:21:00.007+02:00

This has been take from the Cope 2014 Facebook group

Editor Note : In this letter, the author refers to the Bill Clinton vs Monica Lewinsky saga, stating that Bill Clinton stepped down from office after the truth finally came out. He uses this as one of his reasons why Zuma should step down from office..

Reality : Bill Clinton never resigned and completed his two term presidency (the longest a U.S. president can serve).

Thanks for the heads up Doug.

Further more.. The Wolfowitz resigned not because of sexual allegations, but because
he broke ethics rules in awarding a substantial raise to his girlfriend.

The more I deconstruct this argument the more it falls apart.

Dear Mr President Jacob Zuma

After having read the front page story of the Sunday Times (31/01/2010), I feel compelled to write to you as this ordinary citizen that I am. Because I am a commoner, my judgement of your actions could be regarded as disrespect. Equally you might be indulging in all these sordid acts because you feel that you cannot be questioned and brought to book.

As a young man I have an interest in the way in which those in power are behaving, so as to ensure that we have good, moral and ethical leaders to look upon. A public figure who does not inspire confidence or does not conduct themselves in a manner that seek to inspire development of society, should be eliminated from the limelight and sent into the deepest of corners so that their misleading acts are shunned. To me you happen to be such an individual.

In your address during your inauguration and also in your first State of the Nation address, you emphasised greatly on moral regeneration. The reason why religion has seemingly failed to produce members that embody the values taught in religious institutions is because the preachers themselves are failing to be upright leaders who live out what they preach. You are such a preacher to me.

Given your past record that displays you as a man who is easily tempted by indulging in sexual intercourse, it is very difficult for me to throw water over the claims made by the Sunday Times. To me it is irrelevant that the person you impregnated is the daughter of Dr Irvin “The Iron Duke” Khoza, I would still feel the same way even if it was just yet another woman. If this baby was born under normal circumstances, it means that you must have slept with this lady around January 2009. During the same time you had already paid Lobola for Thobeka Madiba-Zuma and you were planning your wedding day with her. At the same time you were already having the pleasure of being attended to by two wives. I suppose given that you were busy campaigning for the 2009 General Elections, the challenges that you faced couldn’t be accommodated by your wives, you needed to find solace and release your masculine energy on another woman outside wedlock.

What nauseates me the most is the fact that this lady got pregnant, meaning you had unprotected sex yet again. To me it is clear that you have unprotected sex with your wives, because you do it so easily with “omakhwapheni”. It means you are a risk to your wives, because you seem to be fishing for HIV, so that you can take the catch home and distribute it evenly amongst them. Unless there is preventive medication for HIV that you have and we the ordinary people do not have access to.

The Zulu Kingdom should be ashamed at how you have paraded their culture of polygamy, a culture that is in fact to me very demeaning of women. To me it symbolises true qualities of chauvinism and patriarchy, whereby if a man is not satisfied with one woman, then they can go get another. Meanwhile society would vilify a woman who would take a second man. Polygamy also promotes cheating on your wife, because you must first know the second wife, well in your case sixth, intimately on stolen moments away from your wife. So during that time you are lying to your wife or wives claiming to be seeing no one besides them and even to God, whom you made such a pact with when getting married.

Polygamy reduces women to objects that are used to just satisfy the egos of many men out there, who see having many women as a sense of superiority and achievement. To me this is a very small minded sense of thinking.

I cannot have you preach morality to me when you partake in such disgusting acts that make me feel if only I was not a South African. When a sex scandal broke off about Mr Bill Clinton, he had to step down as President of the USA. The President of the World Bank stepped down after such allegations were tabled against him. However to you it is just yet another day another dollar and nothing will happen, because you are hiding behind tradition and using it to camouflage your helpless sexuality.

You are a man who does not respect women clearly, a man who does not believe in treating your wives with the best respect they deserve. I doubt maKhumalo is happily married to you, but she is probably fearful of what shall become of her if she were to leave you. It is unfortunate that the majority of the people in your organisation find your acts acceptable; it goes to show how the morals of the ANC have become fragmented over the years.

You occupy the highest seat in our land and many people will find a way of using your acts to justify their mistakes and atrocious behaviours which resemble yours. You are not a beacon of hope to me, but rather that one of disaster.

It is impossible that you could raise all your 20 children, so it means that you promote unstructured families whereby kids grow up with single parents. You promote and justify cheating. You promote for society to discredit the three pillars of fighting HIV, because you do not Abstain, you do not get to Be Faithful, you do not Condomize.

What are you good for? Absolutely nothing. You are shaming our country and making it seem as if we are unable to be led by principled leaders.

You are a health risk to your wives, you are a financial risk to the taxpayers who must pay for your opulence and you still pledge your support to communists.

I ask of you to step down as President, before you turn South Africa into a quagmire that resembles your sexual life and its animalistic behaviours.

Written by: Lukhona Mnguni
COPE and COPESM member, in his personal capacity
killpovertysa@yahoo.com

I think he hits the nail on the head..
Good job Mr Mnguni, good job indeed.
*Edit... Not such a great job after all :( In fact I'm busy writing you an email!

Info on the Wolfowitz case

Bill Clinton info and info on Impeachment

Android takes hard shots at Apple!

2010-02-03T10:36:00.000+02:00

Just seen some of the funniest Anit-apple pro Android commercials!

Basically, Andriod is pointing out that Apple sucks when it comes to anything vaguely to do with Open Source and Speed..

Favourite line from the two clips below : "Race horse ducked taped to a scud missle fast!"

Speed vs Nooby beauty queen

IDon't

Hitler wants an iPad.. NOW!!

2010-02-02T09:27:00.000+02:00

A good rofl, for a tuesday morning..
FYI.. Does contain some language (all subtitled)

1 in 3 people are fags!! - ROFL

2010-01-28T19:42:00.000+02:00

Just had to share this with you guys (sorry if it offends anyone, but it is bladdy classic!)

Love the expressions on their faces!

No more milk in tea? Dammit! Curse those caseins

2010-01-28T15:04:00.001+02:00

For those of us who love to drink rooi-bos (or even normal tea) and know it to be much healthier (and far more superior) than coffee, will be shocked to know that if you take this shot of anti-heart attack drink with milk you are completely nulling out all effects the anti-oxidants should have on fighting off all those horrible things that make your ticker stop.

Without boring you with all the scientific stuff, tea has something in it called "catechin". Now catechin helps prevent (emphasis on prevent) effects against heart diseases. Unfortunately our calcium dosage of white flavour has decided that this just isn't good enough and dilutes the concentration of catechin due to a little punk called caseins (which is found in milk).

So, what does this all mean?
It means that if you have no issues with dying from a heart attack, keeping drinking tea with milk.
If on the other hand you want to add +10 to heart attack defense, stop adding milk! It's killing you! Well it's making it easier for the reaper to kill you. (It's like running around naked with PvP on, outside ICC )

FYI : Supposedly this doesn't happen when you drink coffee. But who wants to drink coffee anyways??

Dungbeetle in a domestic dispute

2010-01-26T09:24:00.000+02:00

For those of you who need a bit of a kick start to your Tuesday morning..

(FYI : Miskruier == dungbeetle)

Little itty bitty kitty fails :(

2010-01-22T13:30:00.001+02:00

I must say, I find this very very funny and cute.

Does that mean P.E.T.A is going to come kick my door down?

Look mom! The clowns are in town.. O wait, that is just an ANC official

2010-01-20T13:16:00.001+02:00

I don't know if you have heard about the new clothing line up the ANC are trying to force upon the public or not, but it is the most hideous clothing you will ever lay your eyes upon outside of a Boswell Circus(and at least the clowns make it look good).

Without any further delay, I give you the summer clown collection of 2010, suitable for any occasion when you feel the need to screw over your own country, or local municipality.

If the clothing doesn't put you off, the price sure as hell will..These guys are no-jokers.. or are they?
You can never tell with the ANC anyways..

The good news is that each purchase comes with a complementary Red Nose for those moments you just have to show everyone that you are not clowning about!. Perfect for parliament!

Boswell Clown showing the ANC how to do it right!

Dell Laptop Giveaway Facebook is a SCAM!

2010-01-18T13:24:00.001+02:00

I get this email today telling me how I just need to join some awesome facebook group and I'll receive a FREE dell laptop!

Now I don't know about you, but a free Dell laptop just sounds WAY to good to be true, and so I decide to do some research into this nonsense!

First, may I point out to you the description of this facebook group.

Notice how he mentions that he works for an online company but doesn't give any hint to the companies name..

Now seriously people, if you worked for a company that decide to give away a truck load of dell laptops would you not use this opportunity to advertise your company as much as possible! I mean, you are an online company after all!

So.. no mention of companies name.. 1st warning flag.

Secondly, notice how they give you this list of instructions on how to enter.. It even requires you to copy javascript into your browser bar!! >< seriously people, how stupid are you?!

Asking user to copy javascript into browser tab.. 2nd warning flag (and run like hell)

Thirdly, once you actually join the group (which I didn't) notice how they then ask you to click on some random link that takes you to a page that looks like something straight out of a Nigerian 411 phishing book!

Again, notice the lack of Company branding, or any form of professional web-design!
You would expect a company that is giving away 1000's of laptops to at least have enough cash to make their competition page look semi-attractive!

Right, now a word to the 27,234 members who have already joined, and who are sending me emails to join!
YOU... HAVE... BEEN....SCAMMED!! PLUS! Dell SUCKS!><

If you really thought you were going to get a laptop that easily then I really do feel for you and your one tiny brain-cell..

Right...
Rant over..
Time to work!

A scuba-divers delight, and a natural phenomena

2010-01-15T10:04:00.000+02:00

In Cenote Angelita - Mexico there is a cave in which you can find under water rivers.

What makes these rivers so interesting is that at 30meters depth the water is fresh water, but at 60 meters the water becomes salt water.

At 60 meters you will see hydrogen sulfide layer that looks like a river giving you the feel of a "river flowing inside a river", especially once you start combining this river of H2S with trees and foliage.

Hydrogen sulfide, is a coulourless gas, toxic, flammable and smells like rotten eggs. These gases can arise from biological activity when bacteria break down organic material in a state without oxygen (anaerobic activity), Such as in the swamp, the sea and sewage. Gas was also featured on the gas arising from volcanic activity as natural gas.

Enough science talk! Check out these photo's

You have grown strong... EGG?

2010-01-14T15:38:00.001+02:00

Really had a hard ROFL at this video clip...
Enjoy :D
And yes.. we have all done this! ....... O don't say you haven't! We all know you have!

In other news.
Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel completed destroyed England's batting line up to get them all out for 180 in 45 overs! Steyn picked up 5 wickets.

.50 Caliber bullet + rock = Backfire of Doom!

2010-01-13T16:47:00.001+02:00

I doubt this guy ever thought this would happen to him in a million years!

Luckily for him, all he got was a clip on the earmuff.

Hundreds stand in protest of global warming

2010-01-08T15:35:00.000+02:00

Hundreds stand in protest of global warming!

Picture below depicts hundreds protesting against global warning as they not only fear for the environment, but all for their lives!

Murder of Crows do a server and Realm first!

2010-01-08T15:32:00.000+02:00

Big up to the 10man team that nailed Festergut on Wednesday night.
They achieved a Server and Region first with a world rank of 132!

This is by far the best achievement to date (but definitely not the last)

Congrats to all involved!

-Ultra

Moar teasers!! RAWR!

2009-12-23T11:06:00.000+02:00

If my previous brain teaser just wasn't enough for you, never fear!
Here is another one :

Merry Christmas everyone! (and if you have no idea what that really means I suggest you head over to www.mumblingchristian.com and find out the true meaning of Christmas

And see you all in the New Year..

-Ultra

Dumbest Techno moments since 2000

2009-12-22T15:54:00.000+02:00

Since Y2K many strange and wonderful things have happened in the world of technology.

A great article from the guys at Technologizer looks at the 87 most lamest moments in the last decade.

Some of my personal favourites are

Millennium bug (Y2*superfail*K)
Segway - Making Laziness look cool
Sony's awful rootkit!
Vista.. nuff said

You can read the full list by just following this link : http://technologizer.com/2009/12/20/dumb-moments/

Bored at work? Here is a nice little Brain Teaser

2009-12-22T11:05:00.001+02:00

I've got a lovely little brain teaser here for anyone who is brave enough to attempt it.

It really isn't that difficult, and can be solved with just guessing( but that would take forever seeing as you have 362880 possible combinations [9!])

Enjoy :D

Gtalk/mail the answer to me

ICC : A new era has dawned!

2009-12-11T14:53:00.001+02:00

Last night we started off on our ICC campaign all hyped up and ready to roll. Having been quite the follower of the hype generated by top Guilds such as Ensidia I was very excited to finally set foot inside the Icecrown Citadel.

As we stepped inside first thing everybody did was run off to their respective merchants to look at all the wonderful loot that will be available to them in the very distant future and linking to all who they thought would be interested.

While standing at the entrance waiting for the rest to get over the "omw.. look at this awesome [some item requiring 90 frost emblems] I must admit, I didn't for one second expect random mobs to come out of the abyss and kill the closets non-tank around. Myself being one of these unfortunate victims.

After some "wtf", "watch out" and the envivatible "rez plz" we were ready to take on the trash..
Not knowing what to expect, trash again became interesting and clearing them took some getting use to..

Taking on 10 skeletons with ease just to have some big ass elite skele come destroy us all wasn't exactly part of the script.

As we started getting the trash down we could clearly see Marrowgar in the distance, this of course only made us more excited (as if this at all possible) and quickly dispatched the rest of the trash.

Once at Marrowgar we first attempted three blind tries which I personally enjoyed alot. Infact, by the third try we had the tactics nailed, and reading up after the third attempt just confirmed what we had already discovered.

There were some bumps and grinds, but once everyone got use to getting out the blue flame, and killing bone spikes we cleared Marrowgar without too much fuss and quickly headed off to Lady Deathwhisperer.

After some attempts and reading up on tactics I really foresee us struggling on this one.
It is going to require almost the entire raid to be doing something other than just spam healing or spam dpsing. It will require movement, micro and macro management and some good co-ordination.

I Hope I'm wrong, but I give this boss a 2 week wipe duration!

Without anymore bumbling, here is the proofzor!

Gratz on Kasmik, Mianeye and Baulghbag for picking up the first of many awesome loots

Why WoW is really WOW!

2009-12-09T12:48:00.005+02:00

This is a little something something I've been shown that really shows why World of Warcraft is such an intense game.
You can view all the stats live here

WoW Patch 3.3.0 is finally out!

2009-12-09T09:29:00.003+02:00

The day we have all be waiting for has finally arrived..

No.. My wife isn't pregnant! :D Not yet..
But it is the next best thing! Okay, so it is the next best thing after Cataclysm and Diablo 3 being released.
But still, 3.3.0 is out today!

Patch Notes for all those interested..

This is going to be taking WoW to a whole new level!

Check out the awesome trailer :

Frostmourne HUNGERS!!

Super excited.. I'm such a geek ><

And we thought Cape Town had bad traffic!

2009-12-03T10:54:00.000+02:00

Jo'burgians and Cape Townians always have this little spat about whose traffic is worse. Jo'burg always plays the Galooli card, to which Cape Town responds with the N1 card.
But to the rest of the world, we are but small fries..
Check out the following traffic shots..

GG?

Bottleneck of NOTE

Round and round we don't go

Snow + Traffic == Accident waiting for a car to happen

And here we thought only car drivers experienced traffic issues

All I can say is.. Hooray for only having to deal with the N1 and Galooli!

National Geographic Photo Contest entries

2009-11-25T14:00:00.002+02:00

National Geographic is having an International Photography Contest, where peeps from all around the world get a chance to show off some truly amazing skills.

You can see some of the photo's people have captured here : The Big Picture

I've included my two favourite shots below :

Absolutely amazing stuff!

Modern Warfare 2 - Knife Skills

2009-11-17T15:01:00.002+02:00

Due to my um.. "addiction" to WoW and my undying love for my wife, and my work, and studies and church and sports and everything else I really have little time to play any other game besides WoW.

If there was one game I could play besides WoW it would definitely be Modern Warfare 2.

Check out this awesome knife throwing skills..

The powers of the bear!

2009-11-05T16:53:00.001+02:00

Due to writing a maths exam this afternoon I had a chance to play some WoW during my normal "working hours".
I thought of doing the Daily, as it would be the best way to spend my time and thus went on and quickly found a pug group..

Problem was, we needed one more.. A tank!! (as per normal)
After trying for a while I messaged the guildies (whom I had messaged earlier too) and asked if a tank or a tank alt (getting desperate) wants to come join the 4man team we had..

Hauk (one of our residential tanks, who also happens to have a fat bear arse[in game]) happily came to join us.. What happened next shook the foundations of WoW forever!!

See, we had somehow landed up with the bottom of the barrel DPS.
1 Lock who could hit 4k dps (and only just), but didn't know where his arrow keys were.
and then another lock and hunter hitting roughly 2k.

I was keeping tabs on each fight (hauk wanted to know when she had beaten the lowest DPS'er)

I noticed one DPS meter read "Hauk 458" and no one else was on the list..
I checked the logs, and noticed it read "Fight 1 - No One"

I informed Hauk about this, to which she replied

I FARTED I'M SORRY

Omw.. I laughed so hard!!
Anyways, off to do the dishes and then calculus ><

Health Warning
Hauk's farts do more dmg than most Alliance characters
Hauk's farts kill Chuck Norris....

Torchlight - First blood

2009-10-29T00:09:00.002+02:00

Do not mess!

Like I mentioned yesterday, I bought the game Torchlight for my birthday... All I can say about this game is WOW!.. I mean, it is completely awesome... All the non-stop hack 'n slash action your heart desires..

I only have one.. actually two problems with this game..

1) There is no multi-player, and from reading the blogs and forums, there won't ever be a multi-player.

2) It is too bladdy addictive!

When I say addictive I mean :

Here I am trying to muster enough will power to drag myself away from the pc just so that I can go and studying some discrete maths (some how my will power mustering skills just aren't functioning), instead all I want to do is clear one more level.. Just one more bladdy level and I'll be happy.. Or maybe just one more loot item, just one more pretty little orange item..... Gah!

See, what these guys have done, is take everything addictive about Diablo 1, Diablo 2, World of Warcraft and rolled it into a fast passed Hack 'n Slash (and fixed up some problems along the way).

The game (I don't want to say "steals") borrows a lot from World of Warcraft in terms of character interaction, the experience bar, fame (aka rep), and items taking up single blocks (no more playing Tetris with your loot)!

By far, the most interesting and exciting feature they have added is .... wait for it....SHARED STASH.

In your little town (that smacks of tristram), there are two stash boxes. One of them is for your own private stash, and the other is for all your characters combined. I found this quite a nice touch (especially with set items coming into play).

O, and I did mention that have a gambling system? Yip, just like Gheed and all of the other chops that sold you grey items for 1000 gold and more, they too have a fat little merchant ready take all your gold by allowing you to gamble it on items that you don't need.. (Actually I lie, I got an awesome unique Axe this morning..)

Seriously though, the guys at runic games have really done well with this game, and breathed some much needed life back into the hack 'n slash genre. (Dungeon Siege etc just never really had anything on Diablo 1 or Diablo 2).

Public Health Warning notice!

You will become hooked to this game, and end up spending way to many hours of your time running around the world of Torchlight without even thinking of RL things, like eating, sleeping or doing anything else that most people would consider "productive".

If you haven't played the demo yet.. You better get downloading ASAP! GOGOGO.. No time to waste..

P.S.

If you ever played Diablo 2 passed normal I suggest starting on hard mode..

Normal could work for those that are rusty, but easy is just way to easy..

Torchlight! Diablo fix in an espresso cup!

2009-10-28T16:06:00.002+02:00

The past week and a bit, has been quite the crazy one for me. In between studying for my formal logic exam, practicing for and playing at the Gospel Cabaret, running the VoB 21.1km Graperun and having my birthday I just couldn't find any time to update my blog or even play WoW!.(ag shame - ed)

But now that it has all died down a bit, and with things slowly getting back to normal I had a chance to just add this little update.

Note : slowly is a relative term seeing that I have 3 exams still coming up!

But as hectic as the past week was, It was also an absolute blast!

My wife leveled her cooking skills all the way to grand master chef in a matter of hours as she went about cooking up a storm for my party.

Teddy Cake : +60 to Awesomeness

The party itself was insane.. Food was great, friends where great, and we even had Buffon (aka H) from Juventus making an appearance in our mini soccer tournament!

I was showered with some awesome gifts too...

My wife got us Parlotones tickets, while Team A club together with cash which I wisely went and spent on an awesome new game called "Torchlight".

I'll be posting more info about Torchlight as soon as I've had a chance to actually play the game, but for now all I can tell you to do is to go check out their website : Torchlight.

The game basically takes everything good from Diablo 1 and 2, combines this with Fate, adds in a very nice looking 3D engine and rolls out a spiffy little game that I can't wait to dig my teeth into!

I also got some spiffy running gear from my bro and parents which will definitely help in next years Crazy Store's Mountain Challenge (watch me run a sub 3hrs).

Lastly, I ran the Graperun on sunday and completed it in 2:04.. I was aiming for a sub 2hr, but the race is an absolute killer, and by pushing myself I caused a full body break down with 4km's left to go.. This at least did help me realize that I'm not 100% ready for a marathon just yet (to the relieve of Zoe and everyone else) and so I'll be giving Winelands marathon a miss, and settle for the half instead..

Wooo hooo.. Northrend beast 10man HC down!

2009-10-19T00:17:00.001+02:00

I was just about to start writing a long sob story about how frustrating Heroic mode is in TotC.
We had been sitting on the Northrend Beasts for over an hour, and I was just about to give up when suddenly out of nowhere we pulled this awesome performance out the hat and absolutely destroyed the little buggers.

Okay, so the worms came in as we were downing Gormok, and Icehowl appeared as we landed the final blows on Acidmaw..

But I tell you what, Icehowl had absolutely no chance what so ever..

So awesome job guys .. Big ups to Mianeye ( Raid Leader ), Sephiroths, Droka, Bubbleadin, Uxdragon, Hauk, Arthecon and Erockzorator and Veroxa.

We even went on to go give Lord Jaraxxus a run for his money!
Really enjoyed it (and I got some awesome offspec gear :P)
-Ultra

Location.. Location.. Locat... o wait.. Directions! Directions! Directions!

2009-10-12T13:27:00.001+02:00

On Friday night Zoe and myself headed off to an engagement party. To be very honest, I wasn't 100% amped to go, seeing as we were going to rock up there at 8:30pm ( the party itself was starting at 7pm). But, Zoe was very persistent that we go seeing that we had R.S.V.P weeks ago.. (and to be fair, she was right. They had catered for us and everything, it was only fair to go and show our faces).

So, I get this email at 4pm Friday afternoon saying "Please print : Directions to engagement..."
It read as follows :

Take N2 and take the Baden Powell turn off, at the top of Baden Powell take a left towards stellenbosch, at the intersection at the end of the road take a right to go towards stellies, carry on straight until u see the somerset west turn off, take a right at that turn off. Drive straight, go over the robots and you will see the estate on your right (has a black fence around it), carry on until you see the entrance of the estate. Tell security your name and that you here for the engagement party at the Lifestyle Center

Sounded easily enough.. I knew where Baden Powell Rd was, I knew where Baden Powell takes a right towards Stellenbosch. Hey! Was this the easiest directions I had ever received or what!

How the directions read...

Boy was I wrong!!

How it went down :

It's 7:45, we are running a bit late, but it is all good.. We already going to be late, so an extra 5mins won't hurt anyone. In the car we get and off we go heading for the N2.

While driving along the N2 I double check the directions just to make sure I know exactly where we are going. Yes! Everything is good, and we are even a little bit ahead of time.

We get to the Baden Powell turn off with 20mins spare time.. Things are going better than planned.
We follow the directions to the "t". We "carry on straight until u see the somerset west turn off, take a right at that turn off" (to be honest we messed up here, but it was all cool because you land up at the same road). After some hooting from the locals because Zoe was supposedly driving on the wrong side of the road, we got back onto the right road..

Time to spot that black fence, in the dark! (I should have know at this point that these directions were useless)

Driving very slowly we try spot a black fence.... Suddenly we spot one, then another.. then we notice that all fences are black at night! But we were sure the next turn off would take us to our destination..

Finally! A turn off.. but it takes us to a shopping center :( No worries, on we drive for another 10mins.. Still no turn off or a "black" fence.. We decide to U-Turn and head back thinking that we might have missed something..

We drive all the way back.. Nope haven't missed anything..
By now we are 20mins late.. It is 8:50pm and I haven't eaten since 12 that afternoon...

We decide to try one more time, but this time we drive quite a bit further hoping that maybe the directions forgot to mention the 10km's between the robot and the turn off.. Still nothing.

We decide the next step is to ask some locals... We try asking some local car guards and estate guards, neither of them can even pronounce the place's name, let alone tell me where the hell it is..

So out comes the cellphone and I get to speak to one of the guests there who seems to be a bit confused about our where abouts but gives us directions all the same..

It turns out that we weren't meant to drive Baden Powell out, nope we were only meant to drive it to the intersection and take the next road that got us onto another road that would get us onto the R44 turn off. (yeah, I know.. I should have hung up sooner..)

Next set of directions!

We try follow the directions with great haste (by now it is almost 9:40. We have been driving around for almost 1.5 hrs and I'm really getting hungry!)

To our dissapointment we land up in the middle of wine farm land with no bladdy idea where we are.. We get to a set of robots and take a right hoping to spot a black fence.. Nothing.... Gah..at this point Zoe was so miserable that she just decided to call it a night and drive home..

But first! A stop at a BP for some awesome chips, milo and a pie... (or so I thought!)

1) The Milo was off..

2) NEVER EVER EVER NEVER buy Rib pie.. It is the most revolting thing you will ever put in your mouth..

3) Don't take chilli sauce on your chips when the only liquid you have to wash it down with is off Milo...

Anyways... The next morning I decided to check google maps to see exactly where this place really was..

The correct directions...

How is that anywhere close to

a) The end of Baden Powell

b) On your way to stellies..

c) If you were to follow the imaginery road to somerset west, and cross over the imaginary robots. You would still never see the imaginary black fences on your right hand side because it would be on your LEFT!!

So, if you are ever going to give me directions on how to get somewhere I ask only two things.

1) That you give an actual Street Address and the NAME of the venue we are going to .. Not some descriptive idea like "black fence with a security guard"

2) That you send me a Google Map link (google.com/maps, not that hard) or at very least send me the name of the roads I should be turning into...

O, and don't buy me any BP Rib pies, EVER!

Enhancement Shaman... What a blast!

2009-10-09T14:00:00.000+02:00

Now before anyone of my fellow healers get a heart attack... No I won't be giving up Resto Shaman as my primary spec (for now) as I have played Resto Shaman since Vanilla WoW and giving it up right now just somehow seems wrong.

I still thoroughly enjoying playing as Resto Shaman, though I do find that blizzard has somehow killed it in recent times. Especially with the stupid focus on Chain Healing, when both Druids and Priests have AoE healing beyond anything we are currently capable of :(

Blizzard are also giving more focus to Healing Wave over Lesser Healing Wave, this I find is killing the shaman as a healer, purely because Healing Wave is generally used for tank healing (not always) and paladins are so imba at single target healing that replacing them with a shaman is just stupid :(

As a healer I've always played raid healer since being able to spam multiple Rip Tides and LHW was almost unbeatable versus over classes trying to do the same thing.

Blizzard have somehow killed this joy in 3.2.2 and many times I've found no joy in healing, and would just watch Top Gear during the fights! (expect the big important ones.. .. o wait.. we don't have any of those at the moment..)

This brings me to my decision to respec to Enhancement! I know that because of my current gear I should be more suitable for Elemental, but the truth is, I really don't want another ranged lame ass dps char that I never invest time into.

Going Enhanced forces to me to get new gear, it really puts me in the middle of fight! I just played my new spec for 40mins this morning and I fell in love with WoW all over again (Blizzard had somehow killed this love somewhere between 3.1 and 3.2.2)

For now, I'll stick to Resto Healer as main spec, but once TotC really become farming content (which it almost is), I'll start thinking of getting my enhanced fully up to scratch.

I will never fully give up healing, but I'm really looking forward to taking this Melee DPS role places..

Right! Back to grinding gear.. (on the AH! Mhuahahahaa)

Top Gear vs Alabama.. It really is true!

2009-10-06T15:09:00.002+02:00

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I'm really not that into cars, and watching car shows is even more of a bore!

But that has all changed, well not really.. I still don't like car shows, but I do like Top Gear :P

It all started one day when I was flipping through some channels and I happened to come accroess the Top Gear guys in Alabama ripping off American's. (Too irresistible not to watch it) I was soon completely engrossed and really started enjoying this rather witty off-the-wall car show that was more of a comedy show than an actual car show.

10mins into my viewing a famous Top Gear incident happened in which the entire Top Gear team were attacked my raging Rednecks! (You can view it here : Video clip on the "Alabama" incident )

For a couple of months I've been trying to figure out if this was all real, or if they just did it for T.V ratings..
It seems (according to Richard Hammond ) that it is all indeed real : Richard Hammond tells all

How about that!
So there you have it! They really were chased around by crazy gun-wielding Rednecks whose IQ combined is lower than that of our very own Julius Malema!

O! WoW news..
I finally have my very own Conservatory of Life, cleared of all the pesky mobs, but still spawning all those wonderful herbs for me to pick and sell at extraordinary prices! Yippie!
Ta to my guildies for helping me clear it.
We also cleared TotC and most of Uldaur in one week.. This is becoming quite the farming ground for us.. Hard modes here we come!

Yesterday felt like a 28hr day...

2009-10-04T09:52:00.001+02:00

Have you ever woke up the next morning and gone... Wow, yesterday was just absolutely crazy and rushed. Sure Bar-One helps you get through a 25hour day, but what do you do when you have a 28hour day?

Well my day started quite "normal". Woke up at 6 to get ready for my first ever mountain bike race. I was quite excited and no idea what to expect. I was going to be doiug the 30km (turned out to be 33km's!) Lourensford Race.

It all started off rather well when we couldn't get the bikes loaded on because no one knew where the bike rack was! After some phone calls to the UK and one miserable dad (it was 4:45am there) we finally able to set off on a journey that would put us out to the max.

The 30k race profile looked challenging, but somehow it just never sunk in exactly how challenging it really was.

As the race started I just couldn't shake off this feeling of "... this was not such a good idea after all!" 5km's into the race (which to me felt like 15km's) I was already completely broken and ready to just crawl into a ball and die. Every little downhill started looking like another easy way out.

By the last 10km's my legs were finished, hands cramping, arms in pain and my water just tasted like mud, but I decided to push on just as temperatures started reaching 30°C!

I completed the entire race in 2:28, which I think is not bad for a guy who has never done a MTB race before and starts off by doing the worst 33k race in the racing calendar!! (Yes, WORST AND HARDEST! So we've been told..)

My brother said he is never riding another mountain bike race after wiping with 3km's to go, and all Zoe could talk about was how she can't wait for our future kids to one day do the same things! (She did the 15km race! and in 1:19 - Nice one).

My wife before the race :)

Myself after the race(picture doesn't really show just how covered in mud I really was)

Erock not impressed with life at all.. knees, elbows and hands all now without skin! (and lots of dirt)

So you might be asking what has this got to do with a 28hr day? Well you see, normally when you have gone and pushed your body to max you go home, have a long bath and generally do nothing the entire day.. But that just isn't how us Kooyman's work.

Ben(rockie) went off to play in a soccer tournament (and won!) well Zoe and myself managed to be late TWICE for a single wedding (first the ceremony, and then the reception)

Rest of the day went something like this.

Bike Race -> Eat -> Drive Home -> Unload bikes and shower -> Get to Wedding 15mins late, rush home to open up for Ben who left keys in other car -> Take bikes to folks place -> Rush off to reception and be 20mins late... ><

Luckily for us the Bride and Groom took their time too, so wern't actually ever "late" just last to arrive before the bridal couple! :)

Just a big up to T&J for finally tying the knot! You will not regret it (but it will be hard work!)

The lovely Mr and Mrs Mentor

Terence put all men to shame forever more with his dance moves!

Right, not to go plonk my saddle sore arse into a bucket of ice ><

Two great moments. One great day!

2009-09-29T10:12:00.001+02:00

Yesterday (September 28th) for most of us was just another ordinary day. Filled with work, work and more work. To be honest, most of my day was the same.. But I had good reason to smile :)

Yesterday marked our 8 year dating anniversary. Now, we don't make a habit of celebrating this, but it is always just an awesome reminder of how far we have come, and also a reminder of how far we have yet to go.

Knowing, living for and loving someone for 8 years really does start to change you (in a good way), especially these last 2 years (since we have been married). You slowly start to realise exactly why God said in Genesis 2:18 : "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

I have definitely been blessed with a suitable helper, a very suitable and loving one at that (and patient). So as I continue striving to be come a Ephesians 5:25-27 man "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." I know that atleast by my side I have someone who can help me get through anything :) [thnx love :P]

O.. I did say two great things right?? Well the second isn't half as great as the first, but it still was awesome none the less.
Last night we headed into Trial of the Champions facing Anub'arak with a full raid night for the first time. Before attempting him though we decided to head off to Onxyia and beat her silly. Personally I was quite dissapointed at the difficulty level of this fight. I was expecting something more in line with TotC rather than Naxx :( One might argue that we were completely over geared(which we were) but I would have hoped blizzard would have aimed her more at those gear in tier 9.5(or atleast tier 9) rather than those in tier 7.5.

Either way, we downed her after 1 failed attempt (which was caused by mass pc lag during the whelp phase). We then headed straight for Anub'arak on abit of a "Big Boss" downed high, and started to work at him..
It soon became apparent that DPS was the order of the day (attempt 1 left us hitting the enrage timer before he even hit phase 2)
This required us to change the tactics abit, which also required some awesome skills by the offtanks.

After a few changes and attempts we nailed the punk and have now cleared TotC! Some nice items dropped, but none for me :(
O well.. Hard mode HERE WE COME!

-Ultra

Twin Valkyrs downed in one night!

2009-09-22T00:22:00.000+02:00

After struggling for quite a bit of time on the Faction Champs, it only took us one run to down the Twin's and still get Anub'arak all the way down to 50%!

All in all it was a good raid, though I have to question the IQ levels of some of our raiders.
I think when Jeremy Clarkson said about the American's "I now believe that some people have started mating with vegetables" he should have probably looked a little bit closer to home, because he would have noticed that that all is not right in Britain either.

The inability of some to dodge stupid black/white balls that float across the room at speeds slower than that of a snail on a Sunday stroll has left me with little faith in the English (and Europe) as a whole..

Anyways, that is it from me.
Enjoy the rest of the week.
I might yet have something up my sleeve.. Ever heard of a cat that plays fetch??
Stay tuned.
-Ultra

No karaoke singers allowed!

2009-09-21T00:00:00.000+02:00

(When posing normally just isn't enough)

When you spend your life in a town that thinks karaoke is cool, and dancing to treffers from the late 60's is still the in thing, I can only assume that travelling to Cape Town is just as good as traveling anywhere else (just as long as you are travelling).

The great thing about coming to Cape Town though is that you get to hook up with all your awesome buddies and not have to spend half your day arguing to Piet van der Merwe over which Karaoke song brings the best out in you. (Though we all know it is Barbi Girl by Aqua.. Yes Gandhi, the secret is now out!)

Gandhi(Harshad) decided to brace us with his presence today while escaping what I could only call "hell on earth".. I mean, here is a town with NO ADSL! How the hell are you meant to raid if you don't have ADSL? Pfft, won't catch me in that town anytime soon..... sorry, back to Gandhi..

We decided to organise a braai at our place, and send out the Team Awesome calling sign (who I must say responded in great fashion!)

(Team Awesome doing what they do best.. Being awesome!)

Cindy and Seth obviously brought Kyla along (our god child), and made Rudy so broody I won't be surprised if in 9 months time we have little Amaro's running around all over the place trying to sell fish or claiming Fifa is the only true PC game one can play! I tried sneaking a photo in, but she was too quick for me and gave me the "death stare"! Luckily for me, her powers are still weak and puny, allowing me to survive another day! (phew close call.. I mean look at that stare.. two more years of practice and I would have been a goner!)

(Fear my stare!)

But the attack was far from over.. Little Kyla knew exactly where to strike next! Using her powers of cuteness she quickly overcame Zoe's one weakness. (cute babies) As soon as this move was played it was overs for me, and she knew it.. (see the little smirk.. little bugger knows I'm screwed now!) Gah... O well, I survived to live another day.. But for how long? Suddenly Karaokes and discussions with Piet doesn't sound so bad anymore...

Gandhi wait up!! You got space for one more? O wait, nevermind.. He doesn't have internet :( Guess I'll have to take one for the Horde!

-Ultra

Faction Champions downed!

2009-09-18T08:41:00.000+02:00

Finally! After weeks blood, sweat and tears, spending gold on repair bills that one might usually associate with things like buying mech-o-hogs, we have finally downed the bastards!

The interesting thing is that we were doing a lot right most of the time, but it was just the few tweaks and changes that needed to happen for us to go from .. O, WTH! Not again to OMW!! WE did it!!.. blah blah..

Our next challenge will be the Twin Valkyrs. Blizzard seems to be following on from Thaddius with the twins. Though personally I feel that the twins are an easier version of Thaddius purely because in Thaddius one n00b could wipe the whole raid, while with the twins one n00b is just going to keep the healers really busy (unless we let him die! *snickers*).

There are some extra mechanics to the Twin Valkyrs' that make the fight a bit more entertaining than boring old Thaddius, but I don't see us struggling as much as we did on the Faction Champions.

Anub'arack is going to be where the problem lies. (Though thankfully there won't be any Anub'arack + crypt fiend rushes happening anytime soon)

Right, so till next time something interesting happens (which should be this sunday!)..
Peace out!
-Ultra